What I miss

Needing could grow bigger and bigger, have you ever had this impression?
So, as days are passing by, it becomes such a great, good monster who starts living in your home.

In the morning she wakes up 3 minutes before you, once you’ve understood who you are. She doesn’t make you coffe: she’s stupid, she can’t do it. From then she officially starts disturbing you with her pranks.

She enters the bathroom before you, turns off the light as you turn it on.
She throws toothpaste away from your toothbrush.

She sits next to you while you’re driving, choosing all the songs which make you feel sad.
Those ones which reminds you what you ought to do.
Turning right, stay under someone’s house, wait for them and tell them why, what’s wrong, something.. Or just staying there.

Needing makes your pc crash while you’re working.
You don’t have to be that focused, otherwise you’re not gonna think about her.
She’s there while you’re waiting the bus, dangerously next to the final point of a meaningless day, which passes by as a phrase that doesn’t makes  sense at all.

Yesterday you said: “Tomorrow I’ll pick up the phone and I’ll tell: hey babe, I miss you as hell, what do you do tonight?”… Tells Needing while you’re falling asleep.

Does it happen to me? A long time ago.
But now, that I find myself egoist as hell, is not possible at all.
My needings are auto-referrred too.

Time, courage, patience and a lil bit of heart.

Patience from ever, courage from some years, time from when I became a grown up.
Heart I really don’t remember where did I hide it
Factors which really influence me, making my life static, blocked, cold.

First of all being impatient means being fickle.
When I want something, I want it now. ASAP.

It’s a damage in my worklife, and in my sentimental one.
Relationship aren’t made for impatient people, if you know what I mean.

My lack of courage makes me feel like I can’t trust nobody, myself inclused.
I quit.

Then the time. The most comoplicated variable of my life.

How Do I manage time, as an impatient?

a- I don’t. I do bullshit.
b- I stay alone. C’mon I hate to find compromises and I have to know that I can quit in every moment, from everything.
c- I lose it.
Finding not how to change.

Finally the heart
That ingredient which fullfills everything, makes everything complete.

Is it possible missing something if this has always missed?
Maybe a  part of me, the one which once had it.

What I miss

Ph. Sara Cartelli
© The Eat Culture